the path to the Cross

This is my third day at the JH Ranch in Northern California and I'll admit that as beautiful as it is and despite how nice the folk are, it's a stretch for me to be gone this long, but mainly to be living in such cramped quarters (there are 26 of us girls in one double wide trailer. Think rooms of bunk beds, piles of clothing and the wait time to get into one of the 2 bathrooms) with so little personal time and space. So yesterday morning I was craving some peace and quiet and decided that a little solo hike up the mountain with my Bible and John Piper's Desiring God would be just the thing to nourish my soul. So I packed my backpack and headed down the road behind my cabin.

I've heard tales of the peace and quite and spiritual clarity one can find at the white cross on top of the mountain behind the stables. From the front porch of the "Casa de Bean" (my cabin) one can see this white cross way up above. So I decided that a hike there was just the thing for my morning and assumed that the road I was traveling would soon lead to a trail to the cross. After some distance I didn't find a marked trail of any sort, but did find a rabbit path that I decided to take. The climb was tricky in places but not technical, so I was fine and I followed it all the way to the top of that little peak. The view was beautiful but to my dismay, I noticed that the cross was on a summit next to me. Down I went....following other rabbit trails I found along the way, and sometimes making my way where there was no path. Every now and then I would glimpse the cross, but as much as I tried to hike towards it, I could not seem to get to it at all. I finally curled up in a shady spot and read the first few chapters of Desiring God before hiking down and heading to lunch.

That night one of the girls, "S," asked me how my day had been. I told her that I'd taken a 3 and a half our hike that morning and she asked where I'd gone. I told her I'd attempted to find the cross but never did locate it. We then moved on to other conversation about life, writing, what books we were reading etc., and then both climbed in our beds to drift off to sleep. We'd been laying there for about ten minutes in the darkness and I thought everyone was asleep when out of the night S said, "Hey Bethany?"
"Yes"
"How could you not find the cross?"
"I just didn't. I kept hiking to where I thought it would be, but I could never get there."
"Did you follow the path with the signs that say, 'This way to the white Cross?'"
"No...................."
"Oh...well you should do that next time......"

How often, I wondered, do I do that. Do I wander in the wilderness searching for the way that the Lord has marked out for me....not knowing that I'm just a few feet away from the signs pointing me in the direction I should go.