made for His Glory.....

As music is central to my life, it makes perfect sense that the biggest decision I have ever made was both inspired by and made during listening to a song. In January of 2005 at a little tiny campground in the backwoods of Mississippi, I heard a song played on a CD during a "ministry" time where students were allowed to come forward for prayer. The song was called "For Your Glory," the CD was called "Worship from the Big Top," and the artist was a man named Ronnie Freeman. At this point in life I had heard of neither the song, the album, or the man singing, but was moved by the lyric that proclaimed:

"For Your Glory I was made, to bring you honor, to bring you praise,
for Your Glory, you have saved my soul, and You called me Your own...
for Your Glory."

So moved in fact....that I moved all the way down the aisle to talk to a woman in my church and ask her to pray over me as I surrendered my heart to a full-time music career. At the time of course, I had no idea what that would end up looking like, nor could I have dreamed that a year and a half later I would move to Nashville, Tennessee to play for the very singer I was listening to that very minute...or that I would spend a month and a half at a place called JH Ranch worshipping in the very "Big Top" that that CD was named after, I just knew that in that moment I was blown away by the concept that Christ could possibly receive any glory from my existence on this earth. I think that because I am so in awe of God's big-ness, I find it difficult to compute in my brain that I am important to Him. Not only does He receive glory however, that was the entire point in making me! He made me to honor Him, praise Him and bring Him glory!

This is the point in this blog where I could very easily slip onto some theological rabbit trail about "predestination" and the "elect" and to what extent we choose Christ and how much He just picks and chooses who He will bring to live with Him in eternity, but there would be little point in that. All I know is that I believe and am confident that He not only created me, but He did it with purpose and with pleasure. That He made me the person I am, with the gift that I poses so that I could in turn give it back to Him in praise and worship. That He calls me His own and that He has redeemed my soul and made it precious and beautiful.

Tonight a sweet new friend slipped me a note after worship encouraging me that my violin playing and attitude of worship on stage this summer was impacting those around me. While I was certainly encouraged by her words, I was also almost terrified to think that what I did had an effect on others. It is an awesome responsibility to be in a position where people are watching you because you then have the power to essentially improve them, or harm them in some fashion. It was sobering to realize that the only way people were being positively impacted by my gifts and strengths and not negatively impacted by my sins and weaknesses was because the Lord was allowing them to see me when my heart posture was in a state of total dependence on Him. What would I be without Him? Without His guidance, control and direction....not to mention his grace and mercy that He not only "saved a wretch like me" but is using me to further His kingdom despite my junk and sins. I was mulling over all this still as I stepped back onstage to lead during "ministry time" when Ronnie looked at me and launched into the very "For Your Glory" tune that captured my heart and attention some 3 and a 1/2 years ago and I completely lost it....amazed again that He had called me, chosen me, saved me, uses me and even delights in me! That He created me so that He could take pleasure in my music and in my being. That He thought it was good that I should be given life. Powerful.

I apologize to my readers if this post seems redundant as I know that I have had several as of late focused on how amazed I am that God loves me and how I'm falling head over heels for Him...but the truth of the matter is that I'm confronted with His boundless and uncomprehensible love every day it seems. And because understanding, or rather accepting (since I don't believe one can ever understand), the love of God is absolutely central to our existence. If you accept nothing else in life, accept His love. It is truly the only thing of any importance.